Untitled.

Some days, like today, I do not feel a thing. It is like there is nothing there but the cognitive process that is there to help me get through my days. This is the remembering and checking my mental to-do list, eating, taking bath, brushing my teeth, that sort of thing. Nothing to do with how I feel. I would like to believe that I am in a happy space, not anywhere being fully content but I am happy. And on thing that I have learnt is that I should cherish all the good days, because a dark day is always lurking around the corner.

These dark days and dark times of your life are pretty much exhausting. One bad day can cancel out an entire streak of 97 good days. It takes so much out of you, drains you emotionally and physically, leaving you without any will to want to go out and face the world. We are allowed to be down in the dumps once in a while, it’s perfectly normal however, I don’t want to because I’ve seen what it can do to me, and what it takes to get out of such a mental state. I fear it, as I do not know whether I will have the courage to get back up again. That I might just sit in that pit and never want to get out.

Emotions on their own are exhausting. Really tiring. And psychology will make it no better for you telling you that you have to go through that continuum of emotions, to show optimal human functioning. It is about how you use both your strengths and weakness to thrive as a human being. Its days like these I hate being a psychology student because I feel like whatever I learn in class, I should at the slightest attempt to try to apply it in my everyday life. If I do not, I’ll feel like a hypocrite. That I have all this knowledge but yet I want to be miserable and not show signs of depression, not feel sad and have a burnout. A failed case of practice what you preach.

Not that I want to feel chirpy all the time, there are days when I just do not want to have control over what I am feeling. I want to break down without having to gather myself after a few moments. Do it without feeling guilty, unless it is over something stupid. I want to have Chyler Leigh sing Breathe (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dnXqLcsDWA) on repeat because I am overwhelmed and do not know what to do. Be vulnerable. I’m not a strong person, but I bare characteristics of one, and I don’t want them some days. I want to crumble and fall to pieces, and just be.

But today, I am not feeling anything. Numb is not the word I am looking for, or its synonyms but it’s the closest I can get to describe my state of emotions. It is as if I am oblivious to what I am feeling, somehow managed to block them out. But knowing that there is an underlying emotion waiting for that chance to break free. I am hurt, and I am sad. I feel like there is a cavernous hole in my soul, and it cannot be filled. For obvious reasons, being the loss of my father, and I feel it is expanding, spreading and eating away other parts of me too. All of this is confusing. I think about him but don’t feel a thing, like an abstract object, something I have never had any relation to, and this leaves me in a dazed state, as I would have never thought such is possible. Or how I am able to do such. But I feel weak, blank and I think I might be slipping back to those dark days when I would let melancholy be the theme of my life and take over it. I won’t be holding back, and try to remain focused and strong should it happen, I’m going to let it happen, break down like a normal human being without thinking too much about it, and hope that I will get back to my flourishing and thriving state of mind…

2014/09/24 04:43 AM

Online Social Media Activism.

Social media has become an enormous part of our lives. Moreover, it has brought along with it many new social developments. One of them being the infamous social media sensation, hash tag symbol (#). The # symbol was made popular by social junkies, and more recently, organizations that care to increase their online presence with hopes of attracting and serving a specialized target market.

This once unassuming symbol found on every keyboard (QWERTY or not) has revolutionized how we interact and converse with the broader online social media community and ourselves. Amazing how all this can take place in one’s comfortable and familiar surroundings. A smart phone in hand or a PC modified with Wi-Fi and the world beckons at your feet.

The hash tag symbol, synonymous with online activism, has taken ordinary mundane topics and re-bundled them into wholesome and/or uncomfortable conversation to take part in. Suffer FOMO at your peril if you still have no clue what this is. A simple addition of the hash tag symbol followed by endorsements from your friends and followers could see the topic go viral and trend all over the country in a matter of minutes. Particularly on the ever-increasing twitter community, where the most heated and jovial engagements take place on a daily basis. These are real conversations we had before the advent and subsequent rush of the .com bubble. Conversations we had with our friends at school, campus and even our families at home in between our staple diet of our beloved soapy, Generations, or alternatively Isidingo.

However, now they are being dissected publicly behind a comfortable facade of a pseudonym and little to no censorship. Birthing and adding a new kind of discourse to what was already stale level of engagement. Enter: Social Media Activism. with this new rebellion and dialect in our conversations, the hash tag symbol not only opened morphed into a social tool carrying powerful social messages that jolt us into having conversations that would otherwise normally be mouse feed under the carpet.

Notable examples of the hash tag activism include the #BringBackOurGirls campaign – this online campaign saw the world stand together in solidarity with the aggrieved families of the Nigerian school girls from Chibok, kidnapped and still held captive by a faction terrorist group Boko Haram. The #YesAllWomen is a stand against misogyny and violence against women, and had victims share the stories through it. #MillionManMarch – often used by men around the world, mainly for campaigning and protesting against women abuse and other issues. #FreePalastine employed to show unwavering solidarity for the Palestinian people, this was subsequently coupled with #BoycottWoolworths to stop consumers from consuming Israeli imported goods. In addition, the #WhatIsPretty, on a light-hearted note, created by Mrs Carter to get people contribute, debate issue of what is viewed as aesthetically beautiful, and move away from the societal blanket approach to define beauty.
 

 

Gone are the days when the hash tag symbol stood as a tool mainly for uninspired banter. Now, the hash tag is synonymous to social advocacy.

A platform, accessible to millions globally, and numbers continually growing, this is the way to go. Even the US first lady, Michelle Obama (@FLOTUS), got in the bandwagon and made her standpoint clear on the Nigerian kidnapping by adding the hash tag #BringBackOurGirls to one of her tweets hours after the story broke internationally.

Whether this form of advocacy and social powerful tool is enough, the jury is still out on that one. Until a verdict is reached that seeks to convince beyond reasonable doubt regarding its effectiveness, let us all get our online activist on, and hash tag away for good cause!

[This is an article written by me, for the North West university Mafikeng Campus newspaper, The Album, issued 29 August 2014, under the title If You Like It, Put A Hash Tag On It.]

We Are Here.

The day I wrote this song, I was sitting in a circle of people of all ages and we were asked, “Why are you here.” Why am I here?? This really hit me on a deep level. I realized no one had ever asked me that question before.

As I prepare to give birth to a new child, I can’t help and think about the world I’m bringing my baby into. No matter where we come from, when we see the state of the world today, we can all feel the growing frustration and desire to make a difference. And we all have a voice – we just need to know how to make it heard.
I have a vision that I believe is more than a dream, that I know can be our reality.
I believe in an empowered world community built on the true meaning of equality – where we are all considered one people, regardless of race, religion, gender, zip code, belief system or sexual orientation.
I believe all of our voices should be heard, so that our representation reflects our population. We need our leadership to reflect an equal balance of the gifts that both men and women have to offer.
I believe in a world where every child born receives a quality education – where their unique gifts are nurtured so that they may be a beneficial presence in this world.

I believe in mutual respect and cooperation among all peoples and all nations. It is time to end all forms of racial injustice for our black brothers and sisters and all people of color.
I believe in an end to the prison industrial complex in America and a renewed justice system that is based on fairness and truth.
I believe in universal global health care based on Integrative Medicine, so that our bodies are acknowledged and treated as one system, and we can help control the spread of diseases like AIDS, Malaria, TB and Ebola.
I believe we have an ability to end poverty, oppression, and hopelessness that often breeds despair, terror, and violence.

I believe in common sense gun laws that serve to protect children and families and society from unnecessary violence.
I believe in Peace & Love & Unity.
I believe that this vision can be a reality.
And, it’s not about me. It’s about WE.

Together we can give birth to a kinder and more peaceful world for ALL children.
Our souls were brought together so that we can love each other sister, brother. We Are Here. We are here for all of us. That’s why #‎WeAreHere.

Sent with Light,
Alicia Keys